Are You Ready To Move In Together?

Feb 19

There comes a point in every serious relationship when it’s time to address the big question: should we move in together? It can be a major source of strife or a natural transition, depending upon your relationship. Some people just “know” they’re ready, while others fight it out. Here’s a few ways to tell if you’re ready:

1. You spend lots of nights together. Not just crashing there just on date nights, but staying together four or more nights per week. Maybe there are toothbrushes or drawers being allocated or half your wardrobe is in their closet. At some point, you have to be practical: should you both be paying rent?

2. When you stay over, it feels normal. If you’re spending a ton of time together and it’s awesome, that’s a good sign of a healthy relationship, but it’s also a sign that you might be ready to move forward. If you’re fighting all the time, trying to resolve the disagreements might be a good plan before you make an official move.

3. You’re responsible with money and aware of one another’s finances. You don’t need to trot out all your financial history, but it’s a good idea to be aware of the kind of money your partner makes and if they’re willing and able to contribute. It doesn’t necessarily have to be half/half — many couples do a percentage of each person’s income, so no one is unfairly burdened. Just bear in mind that most successful relationships are built on fairness. You should avoid paying your partner’s way completely just to get them to move in with you — it’s a recipe for resentment.

4. You have similar desires in a living situation. You need to be aware of what you’re getting in to, and make sure it lines up: some couples want a quiet living space without tons of noise and loud parties; other couples love entertaining and a house that’s constantly full of friends.

5. You’re ready to have boring but important conversations about chores. Who’s going to clean, who will cook and whose turn is it to take out the rubbish? Figure these things out up front. Save yourself the time and hassle or arguments.

6. You’re ready to be real about your partner’s flaws, and become aware of yours. Perhaps you’ve lived alone for a long time and developed some weird habits (leaving wet towels everywhere and never doing dishes). When you move in together, it’ll take some adjusting and reminding to be considerate to one another.

7. You want to take a big step, without taking THE BIGGEST STEP. You might know that you want a future with your partner, but you may not be ready to tie the knot yet. That’s why living together is a great way to get to know one another and deepen your relationship. You’ll know one another better than anyone else and it’s all because you’ve seen the REAL version of each other.

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