Managing Schedules in a New Relationship

Mar 12

Adjusting to one another’s schedules in a new relationship can be tricky. When you first get together, it’s likely that your lives will very very different. perhaps one of you works at a club and stays up until all hours of the night, while the other is a teacher with a regular schedule. Perhaps one of you is still studying while the other is working. You may also have varying ideas about how much time to spend together: a few nights a week, well-planned in advance, versus random times to hang out and no need for planning.

This can cause  bit of a rough time at the start of a relationship. Making sure you get enough time together and still get to live your own life can be tough.

Here are some tips:

Communicate. Sit down and hash out your feelings. Are you seeing enough of one another? Are you feeling smothered? Do you need a schedule or are you more spontaneous? Each person needs to feel heard and understood. Make sure you’re both aware of what the other person wants.

Find a balance. Choose specific nights. For example, choose to hang out every Wednesday and Saturday night. Many weeks, you’ll probably randomly decide to meet up on a different night as well, but then at least if that doesn’t happen, you can still count on quality time on those two nights.

Keep your own activities front and centre. Don’t give up too much of your own activities when you start dating. Hold firm to certain aspects of your own schedule, be it golf, yoga, time with friends, or time alone.

Be understanding. Sometimes, work happens or there’s a birthday to celebrate. The schedule should be a guide, not a final word. Use it to your advantage and keep flexible.

Keep in touch, even when not together. Just because you’re not together doesn’t mean can’t talk. Sending a few texts or IMs or calling to say goodnight is a great way to stay connected when you’re apart.

Learning to establish a routine and a plan in a relationship can be difficult, but also fun. Here’s to finding that perfect balance that works for you!

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